I love my son so much.
I am such a newbie in this journey. Sometimes, as I read through the posts on all the facebook Ds groups, I feel daunted. As I continue to research, I feel overwhelmed, and fearful that I am not doing enough. I am frustrated with the hours I spend on the phone with insurance company, labs, clinics, and TRYING to get ‘my team of docs’ to order some lab tests. There are some days that I KNOW I have spent more time on researching FOR my son, instead of connecting WITH my son. It’s easier for me to retreat into the books, the sites…..keep looking for ways to help him. I hope he knows this is a form of my love for him, but I am thankful for the awareness and reminder to be with HIM.
There are so many things that have been challenged for me since Connor’s birth. So may areas I now have to look at and reevaluate. These are some of the many gifts Connor brings to me.
He is my teacher- my mentor…packaged into an adorable, sweet, soft cuddly baby boy body. Good thing, since I don’t like having my world rocked so much!
He is teaching me that I need to learn to trust myself, my gifts, my virtues and my talents.
He is teaching me to be faithful, and to really GET that EVERYTHING really IS going to be ok…and all things really and truly are Divine an Divine will.
He is teaching me compassion and empathy on levels I could never have experienced without him.
He is reminding me that for me, peace comes from the marriage of mind AND heart.
He is teaching me to feel, to process, to transmute emotion on the behalf of myself and all.
He is stretching my beyond the limits of what we currently know of epigenetics, genetics, Quantum healing, and biochemistry,
He is teaching me to be vulnerable, and honest.
He is teaching me so much about love- he is the catalyst for me to learn self love, and from there, the extension of love for all.
How amazing is that? To be given these things in just months.
So you know what? I’ll do what I need to do for him…be his advocate, be his therapist, be his doctor….be his MOM…I will do whatever it takes to help him, but most of all I will continue to love him…how could I not? He is the light that illuminated the dark corners of my heart.
I am forever in his debt. ❤